Sentimental Swordsman, Ruthless Sword - Chapter 47
Chapter 47: Big Merriment Lady Buddha
Li XunHuan said, “The idea of craziness is not humorous, for only those with extreme passions can learn how to be ‘crazy’.
LingLing laughed, said, “You have to learn to be crazy?”
Li XunHuan said, “Of course, not everyone can learn how to be crazy. Crazy is not the same as retarded. Only someone crazy about the sword can learn the best sword arts. Only those crazy about love can taste the real love of others. People who are not crazy would never understand these things.”
LingLing lowered her head, trying to absorb these words.
After a long time, she sighed softly, said, “I’ve learned so much from you. Unfortunately… unfortunately, you’ll be leaving, and you won’t be taking me with you.”
Li XunHuan paused, then said, “At least I’ll take you back home.”
LingLing said, “Then why don’t we take the secret passage? It’s a lot easier that way.”
He laughed, then said tenderly, “Only those afraid of the light uses secret passages. Unless one absolutely has to, he really should not be using them.”
Although his heart is gloomy, Li XunHuan still tried to make others happier.
LingLing chuckled, said, “Fine. I’ll do what you say. In the future, I’ll never act like a rat.”
Li Xun looked up at the sky, sighed, and said, “Look at this place. Cool breeze, bright moon in the sky, and clear water flowing… How can a person who walks underground enjoy such things?”
LingLing said, “Yet I prefer a bright mooncake in the sky, and wine flowing on the ground…”
She sighed, and added, “To be honest, I’m really hungry. When we get back, the first thing I’m doing is to make some food…”
She suddenly stopped talking, because she smelled food and wine in the distance, carried here by the wind. Obviously, such a smell would carry quite far in the forest.
Li XunHuan said, “Fried chicken, Pork hot pot, peppers… and very fine wine.”
LingLing said, “You also smelled these things?”
Li XunHuan said, “When a man grows old, his ears might go deaf, his eyes might go blind, but his nose will always remain effective.”
LingLing said, “Do you know where the smell is coming from?”
Li XunHuan shook his head, said, “I only know that the little shop here does not have such great wine. Nor can they can they make such great tasting food.”
LingLing said, “Besides, that shop is now closed.”
Li XunHuan said, “Perhaps there’s a family who’s cooking late-night dinner.”
LingLing said, “That’s not possible. I know every single family in this town. None of them are rich. Even if they do have a late-night meal, it would be at most a bowl of noodles.”
Li XunHuan muttered, “Perhaps they had relatives visiting. So they are cooking something special…”
LingLing said, “That’s not possible either. None of the wives in these families could cook such great food.”
She smiled, and continued, “Only one person here can cook such food.”
Li XunHuan smiled, said, “Who?”
LingLing pointed at her own nose, and said with a smile, “Me.”
She thought for a moment, then said, “That’s why I’m so surprised. If I’m not cooking, then where’s the smell coming from?”
Li XunHuan said, “The smell is coming from your home.”
* * *
The road is silent.
Everyone in the town sleeps early. All the candles are blown out. Yet when they arrived in the maple forest, bright light came from LingLing’s home.
Not only did the scent of wine and food came from LingLing’s home, but also sounds of chatting.
Li XunHuan said, “Perhaps your lady’s back?”
LingLing said, “No. She said she’d be away for at least three months.”
Li XunHuan said, “Well, you often have guests there anyway. Perhaps the guests couldn’t find the host, and decided to cook themselves.”
LingLing said, “I’ll take a look first. You…”
Li XunHuan said, “Actually, I should go first.”
LingLing said, “Why? These people are drinking, dining, and causing a huge racket. Surely they’re not hostile. I won’t be in any trouble.”
Li XunHuan said, “It’s just that I’m quite hungry too.”
He stepped in front of LingLing, and walked very cautiously. He seemingly sensed a trap in the house, waiting for him to fall in.
The door’s open.
When Li XunHuan walked through the door, he froze.
He’s never seen so many fat women ever.
There are twice as many fat women inside, than he had seen his whole life.
Over ten women sat in the room. They all sat on the floor, because they won’t fit on any chair. If they try to sit on one, that chair would break apart.
No one can claim that they’re as fat as pigs, because not even pigs are this fat. And pigs would never eat as much as they.
When Li XunHuan walked in, they were serving a large bowl of fried chicken. These fat women sat around the table eating.
There’s a large silk quilt by the table. The fattest woman sat on it. Six men surrounded her.
Every single one of them wore colorful robes. They’re all quite young, and fairly handsome. Some even have makeup on their faces.
None of them are skinny. But compared to this woman, they look like little monkeys.
One man massaged her feet. One massaged her shoulders. One waved a fan for her, One held a cup, and fed her wine.
Two men curled by her feet. She held a large fried chicken in her hand. When she’s happy, she’d feed a piece or two.
Thankfully, Li XunHuan had not eaten in a while. Otherwise, he’d throw up right now. Li XunHuan had never seen anything so appalling in his whole life.
But he did not leave. Instead walked in calmly.
All sound stopped. All eyes looked at him.
At this moment, anyone else would feel uncomfortable, nervous.
But not Li XunHuan.
Even if he were nervous, it would not appear on his face.
He still walked calmly. Even if he walked through the imperial palace, it would still be in this fashion. Li XunHuan is simply this type of a person.
The fattest woman squinted her eyes.
Her eyes are pretty big, but looked like a thin line when surrounded by so much meat. Her neck might be naturally wide, but it’s almost nonexistent with so much meat on it.
Sitting there, she looked like a mountain, a mountain of meat.
Li XunHuan walked in front of her, smiled, and said, “Big Merriment Lady Buddha?”
This woman’s eyes brightened. She said, “You know who I am?”
Li XunHuan said, “I’ve heard of you for quite a while.”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha said, “Yet you didn’t run away.”
Li XunHuan said, “Why would I run away?”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha laughed.
At first, the laugh seemed normal. But suddenly, her whole body started to shake.
Everyone in the room shook with her. There was originally a man on her back. But her tremble sprung him off.
The plates on the table started to vibrate, as if there was an earthquake.
Thankfully, her laughter stopped quickly. She stared at Li XunHuan, said, “Although I don’t know who you are, I do know your intention.”
Li XunHuan said, “Really?”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha said, “You’re here because of Blue Scorpion, right?”
Li XunHuan said, “Yes!”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha said, “She killed one of my favorite disciple. Was it because of you?”
Li XunHuan said, “Yes.”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha said, “You want to save her?”
Li XunHuan said, “Yes.”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha smiled. She said, “Looks like you’re a pretty decent man. At least it was worth her while to kill my disciple.”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha raised her thumb and said, “Blue Scorpion is a remarkable woman. She’s honorable and brave. After killing my disciple, instead of running away, she actually came to see me. I’ve never seen a woman like her. You two really are a match made in heaven.”
Li XunHuan said, “If you consent to this match, I’d be forever grateful.”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha said, “You want to take her away?”
Li XunHuan said, “Yes.”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha said, “What if I already killed her?”
Li XunHuan said, “If so… I just might have to avenge her death!”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha began to laugh again. She said, “You’re not just a decent man, but also quite brave. I truly do not want to kill you.”
She stretched her leg, and a man sitting on it sprung up. She said to him, “Go, give some wine to this guest.”
This man wore a colorful purple robe. He’s quite tall, and has heavy makeup on.
Looking at his stature, and eyes, one can tell that he used to be quite handsome.
Only to see his hands holding a cup, giving it to Li XunHuan with a smile. He said, “Here’s your wine.”
Under this circumstance, he can actually smile.
Li XunHuan sighed in his heart, took the wine, and said, “Thank you.”
He’s courteous to everyone. For he feels that a person is a person regardless of anythings else. He never likes to harm another person, even if that person’s harming him.
The cup is very big, bigger than most bowls.
Li XunHuan drank it in one gulp.
Big Merriment Lady Buddha said, “Excellent! A man who can drink wine is a good man. None of my men can match you in drinking ability.”
That purple-robed man brought another cup to Li XunHuan. He said, “Li Tan Hua can drink thousands of cups without getting drunk. How about another one?”
Li XunHuan froze.
This man actually recognized him.
Big Merriment Lady Buddha raised her eyebrows, and said, “You called him ‘Li Tan Hua’? Which ‘Li Tan Hua’ is he?”
That man said, “There’s only one Li Tan Hua. He is obviously the ‘Little Li’s Flying Dagger’ Li XunHuan.”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha froze.
Everyone’s eyes brightened.
Little Li’s Flying Dagger!
In the recent years, few names are more renowned.
Big Merriment Lady Buddha laughed again. She said, “Great. I’ve always heard that Li Tan Hua’s not only brave, but also an excellent drinker. You did not disappoint me. Other than you, I doubt anyone else would dare come here.”
That man said, “Little Li’s Flying Dagger never misses. Powerful people tend to be brave.”
Li XunHuan stared at this man’s face. He said, “And you are…”
That man smiled, said, “Li Tan Hua’s memory is really getting bad. Do you not even recognize your old friend?”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha said, “He might not recognize you, but he should recognize your sword techniques.”
That man said with a smile, “My sword techniques… I doubt even I can remember my sword techniques.”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha said, “You didn’t forget them. Now hurry up and grab your sword.”
That man’s quite obedient. He went to the back room immediately.
Although this man’s a bit chubby, he walked pretty fast. In a few seconds, he came back with a sword.
Big Merriment Lady Buddha said, “Show him one of your moves.”
She then threw the half-eaten chicken at this man.
Only to hear ‘Ding’ sound, the sword sparkled.
This man shifted his body, the sword came out, flashing through the air.
The chicken turned into four pieces, all became strung to the sword.
Li XunHuan said in shock, “Incredible!”
He never expected this man to pull off such an incredible sword technique, with such incredible speed. The odd thing is, this sword technique looked familiar. As if it had been used against him before.
This man walked over and said with a smile, “This chicken is quite delicious. Li Tan Hua should taste it.”
The pieces of chicken rested on a dark jade sword, looked quite appetizing.
The dark, jade sword shined like a pool of water.
Li XunHuan gasped. He couldn’t help but let out a yell.
This man is holding the Love-Snatching Sword!
Li XunHuan shuddered as he looked at this man. He said, “You LongSheng? Are you really Hidden Sword Mansion’s Young Master You?”
This man laughed, and said, “We really are old friends. You still haven’t forgotten me.”
He must’ve laughed too hard, for his makeup began to come off.
This really is You LongSheng? The same handsome young man just two years ago?
Li XunHuan couldn’t help but tremble throughout the body. He felt much pity for this young man.
Yet You LongSheng himself doesn’t seem to care a bit.
Big Merriment Lady Buddha said, “Can the chefs at Hidden Sword Mansion make chicken like this?”
You LongSheng said, “Their chicken taste like wood.”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha said, “Without me, would you ever get to taste chicken like this?”
You LongSheng said, “Of course not.”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha said, “Do you like living with me?”
You LongSheng said, “I love it.”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha said, “If you had a choice, who would you choose, Blue Scorpion, or me?”
You LongSheng almost crawled to her feet. He said with a bright smile, “Of course my lovely Lady Buddha.”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha laughed heartily. She said, “Very good. You really are a smart young man.”
She suddenly pointed at her own throat, and said, “Come. Let’s give Li XunHuan a demonstration. Stab me right here.”
You LongSheng said, “I can’t do that. What if I accidentally hurt Lady Buddha. My heart would be broken.”
Big Merriment Lady Buddha scolded with a smile, “Little twerp, do you really think you can hurt me? Just stab me.”
She raised her head, and waited for You LongSheng.
You LongSheng paused for a moment, his eyes rolled left and right. When suddenly, he said, “Alright!”
The dark, jade light sparkled, quick as lightning.
You LongSheng doesn’t have Ah Fei’s speed, but he’s still one of the top swordsmen in the world. Li XunHuan is certainly knowledgeable on his skills.
Big Merriment Lady Buddha just sat there, didn’t move at all. If she were a man, she’d look like a Buddha statue.
The lightning-quick sword struck her throat!